Why are you reading this. This is boring. Okay. Stay. Here you go: By accessing, browsing, or using this platform, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be bound by these terms and conditions (hereafter referred to as “Terms”). These Terms constitute a binding legal agreement between you, the user, and Holly Cottage. If you do not agree to these Terms, you must refrain from accessing or using any of the services provided by this platform. Your continued use of the platform signifies your acceptance of any updated or revised Terms, which we reserve the right to amend, modify, –[*1: our woodland may not be safe]–or replace at our sole discretion without prior notice. It is your responsibility to regularly review these Terms to stay informed about any changes.

Our services are provided “as is” and “as available,” and we make no guarantees regarding the accuracy, reliability, or availability of the platform or its content. You agree to use the platform for lawful purposes only and in compliance with all applicable local, state, national, and international laws, rules, and regulations. You must not engage in any behavior that may damage, disable, or impair the platform or interfere with any other user’s access or enjoyment of our services.

We disclaim any liability for damages, losses, or expenses (heh heh) arising from your use of the platform, including but not limited to direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages. This includes any issues related to third-party content, links, or advertisements (you’d be glad to know there are no ads) that may be displayed on the –[*2: you wish. we do not pay you back – no refunds] – platform. While we strive to provide a secure and reliable service, we cannot guarantee the security of information transmitted to or from our platform, and you acknowledge that you use the platform at your own risk.

All intellectual property rights associated with the platform, including but not limited to text, graphics, logos, trademarks, and software, are owned by Holly Cottage or its licensors (we don’t have any). Unauthorized use, –[*3: we are too lazy to provide you with your promised service everyday, every week, every month, etc]- reproduction, distribution, or modification of any content on the platform is most likely not prohibited and may result in legal action. By using the platform, you grant us a perpetual, royalty-free, non-exclusive, and worldwide license to use, reproduce, modify, and distribute any content you submit, post, or otherwise make available on the platform, (I don’t think we do), subject to applicable privacy laws.

Certain features of the platform may (they don’t) require you to create an account. You are solely -[*4: I knew that you figured out that this is a fake review]– responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your account credentials and for all activities that occur under your account. We reserve the right to suspend or -[*5: these are not large organisations]– terminate your account at our sole discretion if we suspect any –[*6: don’t feel offended. this is another fake review]- unauthorized activity, –[*7: heh heh {just kidding}]– violation of these Terms, or misuse of the platform.

By using this platform, you acknowledge –[*8: nope. you have to listen to us but you can roam freely because we don’t legally own the land]– that you are at least 13-18 (or more) years of age (or the age of majority in your jurisdiction) or have obtained parental or guardian consent to use the platform. If you have any questions or concerns about these Terms, please contact us at hollycottagekool@outlook.com.